palliative care

so you think you want to stop dialysis?

After recording my latest YouTube video for the fifty-leventh time before getting a usable version, I realized I didn’t answer the question posed by the inspiration email. In the video, I talk about how to bring up the notion of stopping dialysis to the nephrologist, but the writer was asking how to bring it up to their sister on dialysis. Anyone familiar with the vernacular “fifty-leventh” knows that means I did not have it in me to do even one more take. But I can address their question here.

introducing...the people's nephrologist!

I made a simple wish list for Christmas. Some new fuzzy Uggs since I wore down the last pair to fuzzless. A lavender candle or two for my bubble baths. And a pretty journal for writing.

If you knew my hubby (and holder of my left kidney for 16 years now), you would not be surprised that not only did he present me with new fuzzy Uggs, bubble bath swag, lounging PJs because he had grown weary of seeing me in the red plaid Target PJ set I bought at least three years ago, but also a trough of journals. And not just simple journals. No, the trough from my forever and wonderfully extra Robert was filled with soft brown leather-jacketed journals with a fancy wrap-around tie, each embossed with: Dr. Vanessa Grubbs, The People’s Nephrologist.

truth be told

I had just finished presenting my body of research for the prior six years in hopes of convincing the committee I was worthy of promotion from Assistant to Associate Professor of Medicine when the chairperson said, “It is clear palliative care is your passion, so you should stop wasting your time with the dental research." I. Should. Stop. Wasting. My. Time.

more dying to be heard

I meant it when I told Mr. Garcia that I would support him in his decision to forego dialysis. But I fully expected him to change his mind, just like every other patient under 85 years old with advanced kidney failure I had ever encountered.