Today Robert and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary, just under four months after our 18th transplant anniversary. I learned recently that timing—the surgery preceding the wedding—was very purposeful. At least on Robert’s part.
how to get on the kidney transplant wait list
Mr. Garcia was one of the lucky ones.
Not in the born-in-poverty or kidney-failure-by-30 sense. But lucky in the sense that by the time his kidneys failed completely, he was in California where Medicaid pays for undocumented folks get the same dialysis as the US-born and not in one of the 38 states that wait until undocumented people show up to their ERs damn near dead before they will give them a dialysis treatment or three before they send them back out to start the process again five or six days later—even though it is far more expensive than standard care. Because racism.
introducing...the people's nephrologist!
I made a simple wish list for Christmas. Some new fuzzy Uggs since I wore down the last pair to fuzzless. A lavender candle or two for my bubble baths. And a pretty journal for writing.
If you knew my hubby (and holder of my left kidney for 16 years now), you would not be surprised that not only did he present me with new fuzzy Uggs, bubble bath swag, lounging PJs because he had grown weary of seeing me in the red plaid Target PJ set I bought at least three years ago, but also a trough of journals. And not just simple journals. No, the trough from my forever and wonderfully extra Robert was filled with soft brown leather-jacketed journals with a fancy wrap-around tie, each embossed with: Dr. Vanessa Grubbs, The People’s Nephrologist.
15 years and counting!
Today marks Robert’s and my 15th anniversary for kidney transplant surgery. We continue to share two healthy kidneys between us.
Over the years, I’ve been called “selfless,” and even a “hero” for donating my kidney. While I understand that giving away a part of one’s body while alive seems unimaginable to many, each time my response has been an unwillingness to accept that what I did was “selfless” and definitely not heroic. Yes, I did welcome a certain amount of risk to improve someone’s life, but I got a lot in return: The joy of knowing I helped the love of my life be in his best possible health for 15 years and counting.